[attr="class","theplot"]CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT QUESTION #3
What does home mean to you? It could be a place, a person, a moment in time or even a scent or an item. Why does this person or place or object hold significance to you and why do you find yourself drawn to it? What would you do if it were taken away?
POSTS: 245 ALIAS: Jas. THEME: [LINK] FACE CLAIM: Landon Liboiron. SEXUALITY: Demisexual. ZODIAC/STARSIGN: Cancer. MBTI: ENFP-T. AMORTENTIA: Moss, wood smoke, river water & matchsticks. RELATIONSHIP STATUS: I don't even know what this is but I don't care. It's alright with me. SHIP THEME: [LINK] RELIGION: Agnostic.
Post by Jasper Oliver Scamander on Jun 25, 2021 22:34:32 GMT
[attr="class","main"]It's uh... kinda hard to pick one to be honest but my head instantly went to that little bit of the cliff overlooking the train tracks out in Lousiana. I only spent one summer with Mer since then and we travelled like everywhere but I miss when i could forget things. Home is Siri and I know that but I'm a sucker for nostalgia and I wish I was as naive and reckless and careless and even a lil selfish as I was back then. I just wanted Meredith and that was it. The biggest issues were like OWL deadlines and getting caught by my Mum. I didn't wannna leave that hill and it's still the one place in the world I can go without anyone finding me. The lighthouse I worry that Emmett will come in and whoop my ass and... then there's the house with Ivy but... I'm never going back there. I think the memory of those nights by the tracks are more home in feeling than my actual home even if idk home now is safer. If that makes sense. Kinda ironic that the place I think of being most like home was from a time when I legit felt like I didn't belong anywhere. Except with Mer I guess. I miss feeling like the world was a fucking mess when it was actually the safest it's ever been haha.
Though... if Kai wasn't in the picture every night with Siri on the road would be it. I didn't care about anything beyond being in her arms and I'd never felt... safer. Like I didn't know how scary the world was as a kid but I did on tour but it didn't matter when I was with her. She feels safe even if I worry she'll leave every time she has the chance to be with someone better. That's me though. Not her. I guess the answer would be that cliff area with Siri though that feels like WRONG XD
Post by ADRIEL RUTHERFORD on Jul 1, 2021 22:45:11 GMT
[attr="class","main"]It... took me a long time- far too long - to realise it and it's too late now but home is and I think... always has been Kat.. "You don't know what you had until it's gone" is such a cliche but so true in this instance. Painfully true. Everything I felt for Alilah or- all the grief I felt for losing her was just a distaction from what was really happening and that was every moment without Kat is just one I... don't want to live. Being alone over the last few weeks I've come to realise just how much I miss - the way she'd hum to herself in the kitchen or get far too involved in arguments in restaraunts or just do anything I a thousand percent wouldn't if she didn't give me the confidence. Even after I filled for divorce and I promised myself I hated her I always looked to the door to wonder when she'd come home or leave my phone off silent just incase she called and when she did the world felt right. If I really wanted to divorce her I could have done years ago - it was in my power. My exuse being I wanted it done legally and without use of executive power but... I think it a way of telling myself that I didn't actually want to let her go. I think she knew exactly what was going through my head even if my stubborness refused to part the clouds of judgement for things that... weren't even her fault. I realise that now. I blamed her for everything I did wrong and... now I have no way to say I'm sorry- or that I love her even now, and that I don't blame her for anything that happened. I was hurting and instead of letting her in I pushed her away. Scared of being vulnerable with the one person I trusted more than anyone else in the world. Used a difference in faith as an excuse to distract from the real issues that could easily have been fixed if I'd have just listened.. She died thinking I hated her and- ... I don't. I never did but now I suppose I have to pay the price. It's like... someone's thrown value I believed in and everything that felt good in the world and drained it for all its worth. I'm nothing without her and- now I'm alone and it's all my fault. Maybe losing faith in everything is my punishment for taking the most wonderful, and most inspiring person I've ever met for granted. She died not knowing how I could sit in complete awe of the smallest things she did. Of how much she meant just by existing.
I answered the question poorly but I do hope you'll find the answer somewhere within my... terribly executed response. I've always believed home is the one place or person who makes even the most dangerous place- or the most uncertain or even most turbulent moments feel safe. Like nothing can harm you but even if it did... you'd be okay. That was her. It was always her.